She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
this will be a night to untag.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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