I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Small penises have feelings too.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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