if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
