i need an iv and a liver transplant
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
