He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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