Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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