Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
