Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He did a backflip because drugs
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