She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
