they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
false alarm, still single
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
