..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she peed on how many people?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
