Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
