it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my poor anus
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
