She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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