Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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