I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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