So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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