Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
