At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
