its not stalking. its research.
you would pick up someone in the library
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
