My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
