perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
