Your dad touched me again.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
