On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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