Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
