Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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