so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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