I think i peed on brittanys purse
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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