Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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