We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
