made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
