That's intense
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
