I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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