he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my shit smells like andre
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
