the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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