***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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