My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
