i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
