Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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