walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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