No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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