I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
