Whod you bang
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
