what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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