Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
