that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
