haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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