weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
