Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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