she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
